Many of the Californian divorces can be nothing more than smooth, and very diplomatic transitions, having each their own separate ways in peace, or they can also be rather tumultuous and very, if not, extremely heated in arguments and emotions. The divorce process for most couples that planning to file a divorce is somewhere in between that spectrum of emotions. However, when the process does start to take on a more extreme level that then leads towards more of the negative and nasty side of a divorce case. And that can be pretty risky and dangerous for both parties.
In the end of it all, each of us is all unique individuals that each possesses their own unique life experiences and styles. For many, their kinds of experiences have been nothing more than challenging than the next person and with that in mind, some individuals even have a sense of privilege of knowing how to manage those challenges in a far more better way. Romantic relationships are a good example of those experiences as often times, these relationships can distract individuals from acknowledging and even working on their personal, buried, and emotional injuries. Because of this reason alone, it is very heartbreaking for some that during a break-up of sorts, these unresolved issues will begin to trigger these said-intense emotions and inhibit logical thinking, resulting in threats and harm on both the person and the recipients.
There is indeed a psychological understand upon the idea that this onslaught of inciting thoughts and emotions you may be facing are a struggle. However, for the greater good of things and for everyone involved, including yourself, having a sense of a conscious effort should help to keep off the growing negativity from festering further.
Of course, likes most challenging things in life, easier said than done, but with the help of an experienced divorce lawyer that has integrity can always do their very best to assist in keeping more logical and rational thought and ideas, especially during the divorce process. Making sure your thought process is as sharp and rational as ever can not only help your decision morally but also financially, resulting in the potential of saving money during the process.
Rules of Engagement for Divorcing Couples
1) Place Yourself in the eyes of a Family Court Judge
As you go through each and every rule there is when it comes to the engagement of these cases, if there is a scenario that is similar to yours is not being covered, then consider the possibility on how your decision can look in the eyes of a judge. To put it simply, do the types of things that demonstrate how composed you are. Try to show that you are looking for the utmost best interest of the child, and try to act a bit diplomatic when the time is needed to. Displaying a lack of these components will only continue the notion of your inability to take care of the child and handle the case. That and the opposing spouse/counsel could very well infer about you and your actions towards the family law judge.
2) Be Polite and Cordial.
Always be a bit more polite. Yes, there might be times when the feeling of anger or any other negative feelings starts to feist inside and even comes out toward your spouse. Sometimes there could be times where your divorcing spouse is trying to create a bait and make you become rather triggered but make sure not to fall for it! Always try to refrain from arguments. Using any means of words or actions that are from the spectrum of negativity, you will most likely be losing the odds of achieving the best possible settlement and personal outcome for your divorce case.
3) Children are Always a Priority
If children are being involved in your case, then by all means, do everything you can do to make sure their quality of life is healthy and secure. Even if your spouse turns the tables and pins you as the bad one, make sure to provide for your children a secure home when possible as well as establishing that healthy relationship. Don’t do anything that may impede them or cause them harm or insecurity. Not only would you like more like the bad guy to the eyes of the family law court and judge, but you must do all that is necessary to show that you are showing the best interests for your children’s well-being, be it mental, physical, and emotional health. You should do this because most, if not all family court cases are centered on how the children are being treated.
4) Keep The Conversations At a Minimum
Again, always remember to keep it polite and cordial when you can, and that also involves having conversations at an all-time minimum if possible. Don’t wander in the realms of small chatter. If you must be the one that has to drop off the kids or run a certain errand, make the arrangements and keep being polite to the opposing spouse. Don’t ask pry yourself with questions, both on the positive or negative spectrum, about something the opposing spouse is currently doing. You continue doing what you have to do.
5) Don’t’ Talk Family or Friends From The Other Side
There is a good chance that people such as friends or family member from either side can end up being used as a witness against you in your divorce. Even if you have the strongest relationship with them and even have the judgment of trusting them in what you are doing, it is preferably to not talk with them about anything that is related to the divorce. Be very mindful if they engage in conversations that are outside of what they normally like to chat about.
Farbod Majd Esq.
Divorce Attorney w/ offices in Beverly Hills/Los Angeles
Services in English, Turkish, and Farsi/Persian (Iranian/American Lawyer)
8383 Wilshire Blvd Suite 646, Beverly Hills, CA 90211
310.956.4600 | Fax: 310.878.8989 | Fmajd@FmajdLaw.com