Asking for a prenuptial agreement can be very intimidating. It is almost implying that you think, before the vows are made, that you think things may not work out. It is kind of a reminder that you have a divorce lawyer on speed dial, or at least it used to be. Prenuptials are no longer all about protecting financial assets. More and more couples are having children prior to marriage so going into a marriage, there is added responsibility if the end comes a little sooner than forever. So protecting your financial assets is the reason for the agreement, but there is less of a feeling of doubt in the proposition.
There are a lot of things that change when kids come around and one is how parents choose to spend their money. A couple that already has children will likely opt for a smaller wedding so that they avoid breaking the bank. With children already in the mix, there are other things that would be included in a prenuptial agreement.
There are two times that are not ideal for making huge life choices: in the deepest love, and in the deepest hurt. If a couple is very much in love but clear-headed enough to construct a contract in case they divorce, they are set for a sturdy prenuptial agreement. Looking at joint assets, what you would or would not want to keep, and most importantly custody of those kids while in a good place is more beneficial for all. Parents who choose to get married after they have already been through the stress of having kids are more likely to do what is best for their kids. That does include being able to admit that, perhaps, marriage is not the right option for them.
There was once a natural order to things. You date, then get married, then you have children. While the traditional route does work for many families, there is plenty of evidence showing that marriages after the stress of having children stand a better chance. If a couple has weathered pregnancy, childbirth, postpartum, sleep deprivation, all the diapers, etc. and they still want to be in a room together and share a bed, that is love. Does that mean it is going to last forever? No. But, there are some tried and true relationship stressors and children is at the top of the list along with money and sex.
Honesty is important in a marriage, being honest about your desire to protect your assets for any reason is a strong start. Making sure your children have a secure future is what is best for your entire family dynamic. Don’t hesitate to ask.
Farbod Majd Esq.
Divorce Attorney w/ offices in Beverly Hills/Los Angeles
Services in English, Turkish, and Farsi/Persian (Iranian/American Lawyer)
8383 Wilshire Blvd Suite 646, Beverly Hills, CA 90211
310.956.4600 | Fax: 310.878.8989 | Fmajd@FmajdLaw.com